Hey look at that a New Year and I am still kicking around. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Dr. Handsome Doom! Seriously though what a year. I’ve been spending the last 30 days hitting the treadmill like the doctor said. So all you out there making excuses keep in mind that my chubby ass is hitting it five to six times a week. This is on a Walmart treadmill too. I don’t have a fancy Peloton with some sweaty supermodel yelling at me to push like I am in labor. What I got is Leroy Brown giving me stink eye on the couch because my footfalls are disturbing his morning nap.

While we are on the subject does that really work for people? Having some super hotty on a screen yelling at you to push harder? I got to say I’ld probably stop my workout to cuss her out. Sure it’s easy to “Push Harder” when all you do all day is workout look pretty and get paid for it. I got to go to work after this walk/trot. What I need is a morbidly obese topless man built in my fridge shouting “We are going to be twinsys!” every time I grab one of the KitKats my wife insists on getting me. Oh yeah I am only up to a little over a mile a day so when you are gearing up to start working out don’t feel too intimidated by my athletic excellence.

So we finally made it. I don’t mean the end of the year. New Years sucks, the weather sucks, and this year I didn’t get to hang with my New Years peeps which sucked. We made to to 100 days! I am officially free from isolation, kind of. I still have to stay out of large crowds because Jenny McCarthy convinced people that vaccines cause your kids to go into porn or something. Seriously you have doctors and you have 1994’s Playmate of the Year giving advise on the health of your kid. Who do you choose? If you have to think about that you probably shouldn’t be breeding.

FYI I decided breweries do NOT constitute a crowd. That’s my interpretation of the rules and unless my doctor strangely clarifies this without any prompting from me, it’s what I believe is true. Jenny can have her “feeling facts” so can I.

This week I got both my Cat and my Pet Scanned. Which was tons of fun. You go in they put in an I.V. which if you have been following the blog know isn’t my favorite thing in the world. They inject you with radioactive something or other. Not sure what it was but it came in a tungsten syringe. The guy said it’s perfectly safe. Sure that’s why it’s encased on one of the hardest metals on the planet. It did not give me super powers.. That I know of.

Then they have you sit in a room for an hour doing nothing. This is apparently to get you relaxed or something, as if somehow while sitting in this room with no phone no distractions I am going to be thinking about anything but my upcoming 45 minutes flat on my back in the tube. Both my Pet and Cat get scanned, about 45 minutes in the tube then off to blood work and get my monthly dose of bone strengthener. The good news is after one more visit we should be all clear to start back up in the great state of New Hampshire.

I go back in Thursday to review the results of all these tests. The blood tests that have come back so far look. In the meantime I took a little tour of the breweries over the weekend with the wife. My sister and parents even popped in for a couple while we were out. I am pretty sure they observed a dip on their overall cash flow in my absence.

The Pats game was a little disappointing. I do enjoy listening to the youngins flap their crumb catchers about “end of a dynasty”. Not to sound like an old man but I do remember when the Pats making the playoffs for a year was considered a dynasty for us. Let’s pump the brakes a bit on calling time of death on a team that went 12-4. The Bills haven’t won a playoff games since 1995! Coolio was kicking it on the top of the charts with Gangsta’s Paradise at the time.

Dallas went 8-8 with a top 3 Running Back, one of the best receivers in football and a good Quarterback. Tom’s likely coming back and if he doesn’t Bill went 11-5 with Matt Cassel as his QB. Read that last sentence again. No there isn’t two Matt Cassels it’s the one you are thinking of. Bill also drafted two other QBs that are starting on NFL teams, one of them on a team favored to make it to the SuperBowl. Point is don’t be Dr Handsome Doom on the Pats, they got a treatment for this. I have no doubt they will remain competitive for as long as Bill cares enough to rent blackhawks to spy on opposing team’s practices. This is the face Tucker makes when the Pats lose in the playoffs.